The Commissioning Process

Celtx - First Script Attempts

Developing a Character/Story - The Art and Science of Screenwriting 1999

My story applies to more than one category, I would say that mine applies to both:

The Quest and also The character who cannot be put down.


It is a combination of these two due to the fact that firstly:

It is a Quest due to the main character in my story setting out to change the fortune of the team, this is where the character who cannot be put down comes into it, this is due to the fact that his team are losing and even then he uses his quest to try and change the teams fortune as regardless of the score, he still believes his team can win. It is also a Quest, due to the fact that he sets out to achieve something and in the end he doesn't get that, in turn leading to the Quest being unsuccessful, but nevertheless still a quest.

Furthermore, during his half-time team talk it is quite visible about his never say die, can't be put down attitude as he tries to inspire with every bit of passion he had to give, even though the team were not in a situation for him to be happy or to change the situation.

Finding a story... or three

Ellis Platten, poos himself.

I was in Nursery, It was a warm Summers day, there was a stench floating in the air, all students were lined up in a line, being sniffed, 1 by 1, I had no idea what the stench was and neither did anyone else, all of a sudden, it hit me, I was at the back of the line and teacher was yet to sniff me, it had to be me? I stood there startled, trying to think how to avoid getting in trouble, The teacher looked at me and said, Ellis how did this happen? I had no choice but to be honest, or... as the tears welled up in my eyes I replied with "someone put it there" unsurprisingly, the teacher didn't buy it and I waddled off, disgraced.

Main characters:

Me - central character

The Teachers

Side characters:

The other Children stood in line

After the event:

Shock hit me and tears ran down my face, and my mother came and picked me up after quite possibly being at another Man's house other than my Dad's.

Research Dossier

Analyzing Casino Royale

The scene starts with a transition through fading into the scene, this allows the previous scene and this one to connect effortlessly and to paint the image that some time has passed in between both scenes.

This part of the script focuses on setting the scene firstly so that the director can know exactly where to film and what image to paint, this is visible by the script stating "Snow on the ground. It's the middle of the night." This is some relatively intense detail for just one small part of the movie, but this is the detail that is put into every part of every script which allows the movie to become one final piece.

Each part is clearly noted for which part of the day it correlates to, clearly noted with either, Day or Night. It is important that the time of day is set for each and every scene so that the events occur in a flowing, day and night cycle which doesn't feel forced or choppy.

The part at the foyer in which the scene is set with only 1 guard, it is also important that any extra's and minor characters are singled out in the script so that they can be placed into the actual movie with relative ease. It also states that Dryden mutters when he heads for the elevator, it is made clear that he mutters so that his speech is muffled, mysterious and quiet instead of being loud and clear.

In the next part of the script the location switches to Pakistan which is put into capitals to showcase a change in location and it's important by the fact that is noticeable on the script its bold state.

Continuing on from the Pakistan scene it is made clear that the grandstand is full of people so that the place seems crowded and hectic to the viewer when it finally completed and shows the importance of the national sport of cricket to people in Pakistan that it is packed, it is also made clear that the person who caught the bowl and throws it back isn't integral to the story as it simply just states 'one person catches it' nothing more about the character being shown in any more specific details

The attention after this is instead to a more important character who is actually given some more in - depth detail, it states that he is a : Well built, Dark Man who is to be called: Fisher, it is important to note that the fact he is given clear, specific detail relates to his importance in the scene which allows the correct actor to suit the role exactly to be chosen.

It is made evident that he has importance to the scene as he is spotted by the main character Bond and when he notices he is clearly stated to: 'Push the crowd away' which shows that he is looking to escape Bond as quickly and as easily as possible, which will be put into more, in-depth visual detail when the final movie is finished.

Straight after this the script switches to the clearly stated: International Office at Night time.

The office is made to be clearly stated as a sleek, professional office as the script clearly states that the office has 'Sleek surface' When Dryden enters it is clear that he is in a rush as the script states that: he enters quickly moving to the hidden safe without even turning the lights on, this shows that he is in a rush to get in and out of the room, however, the script deliberately states that he'll be stopped in his tracks as he suddenly stops when he sees Bond sat in the room, this is done to show his shock that Bond is sat in the same room as him.

Moving on from this, Bond addresses Dryden with simple, normal speech addressing his attempt to access the safe, the script is not clear to state any specific way in which Bond speaks which would infer that he addresses this situation with his normal voice.

The script then brilliantly switches from a calm atmosphere back to the action that was ensuing at the cricket match, as the chase between Bond and Fisher is highlighted. This begins with the passionate cricket fans roaring as the batsmen is bowled out, this is done well, due to the fact that Pakistan's national Sport is Cricket so the passionate fans roaring during the match and ignoring the chase between Bond and Fisher is genuine and understandable as their focus will fully be on the game and wanting their team to win.

As Fisher moves down the tunnel, the word TUNNEL is lowered to its own line to show that the action is transitioning from one part of the script to another.

The events on the Cricket pitch are well tied in as-well as Fisher passes the new batsmen on his way to the pitch which ties into the events the crowd re watching.

It is made clear that the person Bond is chasing is worried about his presence as he attempts to hide from Bond in a dark corridor and ends up bolting from the scene as it comes to an end, which is a very villainous characteristic to have instead of facing the hero of the scene he flees for his own safety. 

The characters aren't developed that greatly in this scene however, it is written in a way which makes it clear who is a good guy and who is a bad guy, the shadiness and importance of the antagonist in the scene is made clear from the off,  an example of the antagonist being made clear instantly can be seen here: "Fisher reacts pushes through the crowd, away from the Silhouette

Two ten minute short films which directly relate to the screen play I'm aiming to make.

The first film I have chosen is: Addi Tail, this is due to it being a sports based movie with a strong male antagonist who doesn't intend to be an antagonist but is placed in that situation, this is the same kind of style I wish to implement with my 10 minute short film so that's why I chose this as my first short film in which I will be drawing inspiration from for my film.



The second short film I've chosen is: The Pine due to it also being sports based, this one is based around the people off the pitch for the majority of the film which is also what I'm looking to implement in mine with the main character being off screen, something which brings a unique feel to the film as most of the time it focuses on the pitch and the events on there, furthermore it doesn't have a happy 'fairytale' ending which i'm also looking to do for my short film as people often remember the unique endings more than the common happy ending.


Research:

I have used the site: 'SurveyMonkey' to gain audience research to find out what the public look for in a sports movie, this will allow me to know whether my idea for my script is plausible in terms of the public eye, as if the public aren't looking for the idea then it is not worth making.

Question 1:

From the first responses collected it is clear the target demographics in which i'm looking to hit in terms of age range seem to be seen as the most interested in comedic Sports movies which is great for my idea which enforces my likelihood to go and pursue this idea instead of others. Furthermore with my two main demographics taking a combined 66.67% of the share of the responses this is way over half of the responses in which were collected which is exactly what I wanted.

Question 2:

For my second question the responses were resounding in favour for a male audience which is also what I was looking for here, due to it being based on Football which is a prominently male audience, however there is a sizable female vote here aswell which is great to see due to their stature in the game growing rapidly.

Question 3:

This was perhaps the most pleasing response I received due to over 70% of the people who took part in the survey feeling there is a gap in the market for the genre of movie I am looking to make which is brilliant to see, which is the main reason I am 100% going for a comedic sports movie due to it not being done overly often so there is usually a gap in the market.

Question 4:

For the most looked for item in a sports movie the responses were varied which is good to know that the sample audience had a wide variant of views which shows that every one feels differently about their favourite move genre. However, this was pleasing to see as a comedic movie came out on top of the most looked for genre of movies 

Question 5:

Finally I asked my audience whether they were a fan of Football, not to find out how many people like Football because hundreds of millions worldwide like Football, I asked this to know whether their responses were from Football fans or just people who had taken their time to fill out the survey, I am happy to know most of the respondents were fans of the sport I was going to make the movie on due to them actually being the people the movie will be aimed at.

What theme will I be looking to use?:

The theme I will be undertaking due to how my audience research was taken is a comedic sports theme in the sport of Football, this is due to the fact that it's the sport I know the most about so i'm able to take my own life experiences into the topic and implement them into the short film to make it more realistic and believable for the audience as realism and incorporating funny stories from past experiences makes them easier to recreate and for the audience to feel a connection to what's happening on screen.

Also, I have done research for this by looking at past movies made so I can take my own experiences and also past movies to combine them into one final, unique piece.

The first film example in which I am looking to incorporate is the movie: Bad News Bears, it is a classic sports movie and alot of other movies have taken inspiration from it, here is an example from the movie:



In terms of the main protagonist in the movie I am looking for a typically British man, the main example which comes to mind is: Johnny Vegas due to him defining the stereotype of the British Man.

Screenplay - Script Treatment

Aggressive Team-talk - Working title

The movie starts with a man stating that: He's 'Had enough of this' and storms off to the changing rooms:

An extreme close up of a clearly agitated man's face slowly zooms out until it's a close up, the man is sweating, dripping with rage.

He begins to talk to some people off the screen shouting at them for being passionless, over paid fools, with no interest in playing for the shirt, more concerned about what they're going to be doing when they arrive home.

Some emotional music begins to play as he starts belting on about how the other team are a bunch of nobodies, a Mickey Mouse club.

It becomes increasingly evident in the next paragraph that who he's speaking to aren't adults.

He makes statements like: Every Sunday the same crap, week after week, being bullied by the bigger kids, imagine what they will say when they see you on Monday, the abuse will be unbearable, all due to your foolishness for taking this game lightly - THIS IS NOT A JOLLY

The camera pans round to see a room of startled, young children, clearly shaken by what the man has just said.n

They all run out and leave the room quickly for the second half.

The camera pans around the 7 a side pitch on a warm Sunday morning
More than one game being played at the same time
Other parents comforting their startled children and wishing them good luck and to "Try their best"
The second half starts, Chances get missed a montage of his facial expressions clearly shows his anger as he throws his cap down and screams,

Late on there's a chance for his team, the keeper brings down the striker, a penalty is given.

He looks away and can't look, a chance of saving a point has suddenly appeared he looks away

The penalty is taken in slow motion, he hears cheers, he screams with jubilation, then he turns around and realizes the other team have saved the penalty, it zooms on his face and end with him saying " OOOOOHHH F"


    

Screen play ideas

Video of Boys playing Football and discussing the deep topic of the Syrian refugee crisis

Chav's discussing the general election, starting really chavy then moving to an in-depth, intelligent discussion

Group of boys start out hungry, with only 50p between them, they busk for money and end up with £2 and split a 4 pack of sausage rolls

A lie that snowballs and leads the main character into a scenario in which they are way out of their depth to deal with, they end up doing it poorly and learn to never lie again

Bubbles, A boy can't gain confidence if he doesn't consume a bubble each morning, whenever he is low on confidence he 'pops to the toilet' eats a bubble, and then he is ready to go again, one day he forgets to eat his bubble and realises he was being stupid all along

A greedy kid who always gets his way, has his family come into hard times and he can't be given everything he wants, he now believes his life is horrible and his world is crumbling, he then meets and be-friends a homeless man and realises his life isn't in fact bad at all and grows the F up

A boy 'from the hood' is arrested and this causes him to re-evaluate his life, he decides to do better, volunteers and helps out with the homeless, all whilst dealing with the temptation of re-joining the 'hood' he eventually rejoins his gang, but with the plan of getting them all arrested, the story ends with everyone in jail. I feel like I had a good start here but went off in the wrong

A prostitute visits a clinic after being attacked by her punter the night before, this leads to the police leaving her with hope and a note to call if anything goes wrong, when arriving home with her mind all set for change and ready to move on with her life, however, when she arrives home her punter murders her for 'spilling the beans'

A man is clearly enraged at The Football team he supports playing poorly in the first half, he storms into the half time team talk and lays into the team, after this the camera pans around and it's a shell shocked group of 8 year olds who go out and end up winning the game as the parent Is quite visibly jubilant about the result, the movie end as he wipes a tear away from his face.